Saturday, October 24, 2009
24th October 2009, Saturday.
Day 1.
15 more days to 200.
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ever since i started talking to you since march. there is never one day that we will not talk to each other. there maybe times when i did stuff that really hurt you. you will still send me a message to say how upset you are. but today. i heard nothing from you. and from now till the day ends, i believe i will still hear nothing from you.
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i so have the urge to call you. the urge to message you. the urge to go look for you. but i know you talk to me now. you won't reply my message now.you won't want to see me now.
i respect your decision even though deep inside how i wish all these will be over.
been talking to bobby just now.
when i talk to him. tear just cant stop coming down.
i asked bobby whether does he miss you?
does he want to see you?
does he want to hear you calling his name?
does he want to play with you?
i asked bobby whether today i came across your mind.
whether you are like me looking at the phone waiting for your picture to appear, be it a call or a message.
whether you missed me just as much as i miss you.
most importantly, whether you want this to be over just as much as i want it to be.
i told bobby that i just cant stop thinking of you.
i just cant stop myself from crying when i think of you.
just cant.
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the cake that i bought for you during your birthday is still in the fridge.
the powerpoint that i did for you in still in the computer.
my bed is there but its empty.
the big shirt is there but you're not here to wear it.
the blue coke cup from mac is still there and no one is using it.
the ice in the freezer are full but no one to use it.
other than you,
no one else will eat the cake in the fridge.
no one else will see the powerpoint that i made for you.
no one else will sleep on my bed.
no one else will wear the big shirt.
no one else will drink from the blue cup.
no one else will use the ice to drink ice-kosong.
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i will still be waiting for you here without disturbing you.
i will give you all the time that you need.
no matter what is your decision.whether it the answer that i want.
take good care of yourself.
you must be happy. as long as you are happy is what that i want you to be.
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i miss you.
i love you.
till the day i hear from you.